This year has been pretty rough -- a vast understatement for most, I am sure. It has been over six months since my last post and it feels like a few years have gone by already. COVID-19 has taken an incredible toll on a lot of us. For me, while I remain extremely grateful for my generally decent physical health (as much as you can have with an autoimmune disorder anyway 😅), my mental wellbeing has been less than.
A lot has happened in these few months! I started a master's program in computer science, had my internship renewed with Symetra, started a new position at Funko, etc. Sadly, though, these things did not last. Unforeseen financial circumstances ended my time as a master's student and as an intern. In search of a more full-time position, I started as an Associate IT Analyst with Funko! 🤩
Admittedly, I was pretty star struck the first month I was there. Their building has giant Funko pops both on top of it and inside.
(photo taken from Live the Sno Co Life)
They had a bowling alley, soda machines, an arcade, slides, a gym, etc. And a 50% in-store discount! 👀 It was an environment built for fun! However, my time was cut short due to the impact of COVID-19. After just two months of being employed with Funko, I was laid off with many other staff members. Like the saying, though: when one door closes, another one opens!
During this time I saw that Symetra was hiring for a full-time Software Developer. This being the dream, I immediately applied. After all, I didn't necessarily want to leave Symetra (although Funko was indeed an amazing opportunity) and really wanted to go back. I didn't get the role I applied for, but landed a position as an Associate Software Developer! 🤗💚 Symetra truly is where my heart is; it felt like I had come home after a long trip away.
All that was left was trying to get back to work on my master's degree. From the time I had to drop my classes and end my internship, up until my application for Symetra, I had been working on an application to DigiPen's MS in Computer Science program (with the new Funko position, I then had the funds to start again). I had toured the campus, written the essay, and procured the letters of recommendation. All I had to do was take the proctored test and the application would have been complete! But then came COVID-19... again. 😑 Libraries, campuses, stores -- everything shut down. I could no longer take the test and missed the deadline. Start dates for the MS program are in fall only, so now I must wait an entire year to apply again (someone out there clearly doesn't want me to get my masters). It is frustrating because I am not the type of person who likes to wait when it comes to education. In the meantime, I may take online classes with WGU to gain a bachelor's. I haven't yet fully decided, I have not entirely healed from the disappointment...
Throughout all of this, as you know, was the stress of quarantine, and now, the heaviness of violent racial injustice across the country. While these few months have had its amazing ups and crippling downs (it really really broke me to have to drop out of my master's classes, as well as fail an interview with The Pokemon Company International -- a ridiculously embarrassing story I don't want to get into right now... ðŸ˜), I think waking up to see videos of a man being murdered because of the color of his skin -- my color -- was the most difficult to handle.
Emotionally, I don't think I have been handling quarantine and the general news of COVID-19 too well. To think about the extreme racial disparities across the country on top of this has put me, and I am sure a lot of others, in a sensitive state. There is so much I want to do: finish those tutorials, finish my website, keep chipping away at Unity, etc. and I just don't have any drive to do it. Despite having a dream job at a company that truly cares about COVID-19 and social injustice, I just feel so lost and tired. I love my job, of course! I just wish there was more of me right now to put into everything I would like to do, both for myself and for my job.
I am going to keep pushing, though! And maybe hopefully I will finally be able to get those tutorials left in the drafts up soon. 😂 Although considering how long it has been, they are probably already outdated; 6-7 months is like 3-4 tech years.
Overall, I still hope to go to Digipen (just gotta keep studying in the meantime) and still have dreams of moving up to a FT Software Developer position(instead of just an Associate). I am still interested in game development as well and plan on working on it in some form! I know I will get there even if it takes a bit of time. I just have to be patient with myself.🤗✨
